Saturday, February 28, 2009

~~~ W I N G L E S S ~~~

Just leave me your stardust to remember you by...

Who cares what i think,
who cares what i feel
when all they do is treat me with sceptism
I have tried to maintain my sanity
but daily its threatened
I have tried to make them happy
but what do i get?
I do all i have to do,
bend over backwards always
All in a bid to appease
.. and soothe frayed nerves
My pillow soaks daily from my crying out
I'm daily running out of ideas on what to do
How best to placate everyone around me

I'm not a bad person.
Never has been
So pray, where did things go wrong
How am i gonna make them believe in me
when they probably see me as a threat
Its the first time in my life ever
That am faced with this kind of indecision
The pain and tears that wells up in me daily

Cant you see the tears in my eyes
Don't you worry what about what i feel
Don't you feel i must be sad?
You ask why i have been withdrawn
when all i get is disdain and contempt
From the very people who promised love and succor
Am amazed you feel so happy
Thinking in your wildest dreams that i am too

You need have a rethink about life
Think about the time you wouldn't be here
About the things that would be said about you
Yes, you have tried your best is what i hear you say
But have you thought what impact its had on me
Have you thought that food and clothes mean little to me
Love care and affection means the world to me
And thats what i crave from you

I crave love and not hate
I crave affection and support
Do not despise and contempt me
I'm me.I cant change who i am
I've tried to please everyone around me
Make them happy in my own way
Sometimes at my own peril
But its all naughts almost all of the time

Its sad, i know.
Wish i could change this feelings
But every night its there sticking out
One minute, You make me happy and joyous
And the next minute, you make me lose my cool
How come? how have you had so much power over me
Just in one fell swoop, to make me happy
And in another, make me hate the world

How come...
You cant see those lines across my face
You cant see my wry smile
You cant see how much I'm all by myself
Because you chose to ignore
What I'm feeling down within me

Just want you to remember this
Its only one life to live
To create and make a world of difference
If you love me, prove it beyond words
Beyond every other thing you give
Prove it with your love and affection
And all the smiles will come back

For now, I lay my cross on Jesus
He's the only one who cares and sees
The pain and tears in my life
Take me out Oh Lord and let me be
That man you created me to be

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Seasons have come and gone
Still my heart is in chains
Locked in the grip of your love
Every turn, every step
Your there…
Etched on the wall of my heart
Like a frame engraved in stones
Every night is a discomfort
Plagued by memories of our pastimes
As my sheets continually soak
Waiting for when this loneliness
Will drift away…….

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


The many sparkles in those eyes
says it all
The many thoughts behind those frames
speaks volumes
That your the woman made for me

One look into your eyes
keeps my immagination runnin wild
Baby,what more can i do
To have our hearts beat as one

Just want to be there for you
To hold you firmly
Stroke you gently
squeeze your boobs
and tease you softly
till you let out a loud moan
under bated breath and breakin sweat
tricklin down your beautiful face

So fascinated by your temptin looks
your full luscious lips
curves that crowns your lower waist
cleaverage that makes you swallow hard
and a heart branded in gold

Can i ever keep my hands off you
when already drowned in your love...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


It’s so amazing how she changes with the tides
shedding off her cloak all but too soon
She staggers and stumbles over every turbulence
hitting the rocks in like fashion
Almost running berserk trying to please her
So I try to write a note to let out the steam
Your actions isn’t telling me anything
And your words unconvincing enough for me
Why then would you want me do otherwise
When your not that woman I used to know…

Sunday, February 22, 2009


This strange feeling in me
Coming over from a strange woman
An embodiment of beauty
walked past and i got lost
Hot rush of blood runs over
Countless words juggle for attention
Several thoughts and feelings encompass
Seeing this Arabian princess walk by
Only but for a moment...

Out of the blues comes this feeling
Oh,how strange a feeling
Taking me completely over
By a strange woman
Could this be love or lust
Many minutes of pondering
Ensnared in my thoughts
Of wants of this woman in my world
Only but for a moment...

Saturday, February 21, 2009


You taught me to love
You taught me patience
You taught me to dream
You taught me how to win
You taught me to be wise
You taught me how to be strong

Months and weeks have since passed
and I’m wonderin how you broke this wall
of a cage built around my heart for the unknown

You defied my fright and shattered my defenses
stealin me away from my lil shell and anxieties

Baby,im indebted to you for your love
for the flames of fire in your eyes,
the sensation that you bring
that keeps burnin each time
my thoughts drifts to you...


Through the laughs and the tears
I admire your courage and passion
your noticeable sacrifice and selflessness
which brings me smiles at every point

Thousands of words wouldnt suffice
how you helped made me happier,stronger
Wiser,because i had you as my compass
healing my hurts and calmin my fears
so that i could face the world
with renewed viguor and determination

Your love brought many blessings
learning from the fun filled yesterdays
easin away my pains and fraustrations
with lil as much as your smiles
that lightens my entire day

I think of your never failing love
which gives strenght in the face of despair
your security which is unequalled,unparalled
which brings a sense of comfort
your praise and encouragement
which keeps me goin through each day

I realise i couldnt have come this far
without you being by my side
wanna let you know i remain indebted
for being so passionate through the thorns
stickin to me like a second skin
makin me believe that the sky is within reach
only if i dared...


wakin up next to you
I remember the look in your eyes
Very assurin yet burstin with meanings
of what the future holds for us
in a life of uncertainty

I imagine what it’s like everyday
having your body next to mine
each breathin into the other
layin down on that soft bed
relievin all the beautiful times
what we see in the future
and the hopes of being together
startin a family and makin a home

Its been one whole heck
thinkin about the many challenges
Along our path that terrifies our dreams
the dreams of being together
sharin our lives together

Together you said we would work this out
yet the future holds lil glimmer
how much more baby are we waitin
To see our dreams come true
to live in this world
painted of you and me...


Assumin wishes were horses
would have spent my whole time wishin
that this day never came
Never could have imagined it this soon
Nor would i have imagined it this short.

Through the many upheavals and terrible storms
we clunged together like two destined birds
watchin over each other as we grew older
sharin our lives,joys and pains in affinity
until it rocked over like a boat thrust over by whirlwind

You said we were goin to be together forever
you said we were goin to be strong for each other
Now your leavin with my heart...

Baby, im never gonna be that same man anymore
as i see you walk through that door
i choke and shudder emotionally
tryin not to cry from the gapin hole within
as i bid you one last goodbye...


When I look at you,
I see a fragile egg
Which needs to be protected
From breaking its shells
I see a choking up built
All welled up with tears within
But no one knows it but you and I

I want to protect you
I want to love you
I want to care for you
I want to be loved as well

Beyond the camaraderie,
Lies a weakness
Only seen by you and I
If we ever want to be happy
If we ever want to be together
It’s time to let up and let it flow

It’s time to leave this shell
The shell you call home
Crawl back to me baby
I promise I won’t hurt you
Only if you’re going to let up
And pick our pieces back again

Monday, February 16, 2009


Every single day in Africa
There's a child out there
who’s hungry and sick without meds.
And also without shelter and clothing
Needing for your love and succor

Every single day in Africa
A child goes hungry to bed
Looking badly malnourished and ill-fed
Not sure where and when the next meal comes
Lives in slums in unhygienic conditions
In a bid to break barriers and above par

Every single day in Africa
A child drops out of school
Due to Abject poverty and starvation
And an inability to pay school fees
Which results to disillusionment

Every single day in Africa
A child is psychologically abused
Sent out on the cold streets
To eke out out a living for his family
Inspite of very imminent dangers on his way

Every single day in Africa
A child wakes up to harsh realities
Sold into prostitution, slavery and crime
Against their own very wishes
To a world of hate and bestiality

Every single day in Africa
A child is faced with humiliation
Despair and suppression of own voices
He can’t be heard and he's preyed upon
In a world where he seeks protection and love

So many have lost hope.
Some have had their trust damaged
Some are living for the day
Waiting for what tomorrow brings
In a cruel world that care less
About the future of the Africa Child...


I feel a pain in my heart which draws me to tears when I see the plight of the poor man
A feeling that burns so passionately but almost with no remedy I can bear now
Why the poor keep getting poorer and the rich getting richer everyday
Why the average guy who does the hard job gets paid peanuts and
The rich guy ends up feasting on the hard labor of the abject laden fellow
I feel a pain beyond words can have me say here when the poor is incarcerated
And the rich guy gets a mere slap on the wrist for the same offense as the poor guy
Can someone explain to me why life will be so unfair as when the rich keeps buying
Buying every available space to build houses, drive posh cars and date the best women
While the poor guy languishes in penury all his life, unable to pay his rents and afford a decent living
Who listens to the poor? Who sees his pain? Who hears him out when he’s faltering in his bills?
I make a case for the downtrodden and hope for someday when someone will listen.


Through trials and triumphs
I will stick with you Lord
My eyes have seen
My ears have heard
The dilemma of the unbeliever
Who runs from pillar to post
Seeking gods carved out of images
Offering adulation and sacrifices
To a god who has no eyes to see,
And ears to listen. Who has no arms
To save but asks for money instead.

This is the story of a friend
Who inspite of all admonitions
Refused to listen and take heed
But patronized gods who wanted more
They gave him black soaps
They gave him scented lotions
They gave him colored candles
Things worked good for him
And he felt on top of the world oblivious of the doom
Which awaited him. He made money. He was the toast
Of every party and all the beautiful ladies on the street
He was the favorite of the group but he forgot the old saying
That he who sups with the devil must have a long spoon
Catastrophe like an ill wind struck and before you could say jack…

All he had acquired over this period began to crumble
Everything he labored for began to take flight
And his world came crashing like a pack of cards
He lost everything. Lost his sanity. Lost his dignity
He lost everything because he wouldn’t listen
He became a shadow of his old self begging for alms
Friends took turns as they fled from him
Leaving him to pine away gradually. Friends he fed
All were gone. No one to share in his misery
In his time of trouble, his gods couldn’t save him
Let alone bring him back all his sudden loss
He lost everything because he served a dead god
Carved out of wood image, who couldn’t see
And had no saving hand like my sweet Jesus.


There are some things more important than money
More honorable and treasurable than the best of gold
As I continue to grow older, I realize that life means nothing
Without the people who sincerely care about you.
I realize that no matter how rich or poor you are in life
You cannot walk it alone except you have someone to hold
Someone to cheer you and encourage you. To raise you
And admonish you which altogether bring meaning to life

In my down times, the people I had with me
Were what kept me going strong everyday
I drew from their strengths when mines’ was failing
Their generous smiles was all I needed to be assured
That there will always be light at the end of the tunnel...


I thank you Lord
Thank you for the man you made me
Through the scare of the whirlwind,
Turbulent storms and raging fire
You have made me stand
Even though trails leave their scars
I’m not smitten because I have you
To stand with me through it all

Sunday, February 15, 2009


No one sees the tears
Streaming down my face
No one sees the pain
Coming from deep within
All they see is a mask

Perhaps, they care
Perhaps they know
Perhaps they see
The hidden tears
That lies behind the mask

Behind that mask
Lies a feeling of hate and angst
Behind that mask,
Lies a gaping hole
Behind that mask,
Lies a real craving
Behind that mask
Lies a hurting heart
Crying out in pain
Needing for your love

No one sees the tears
The pain within my eyes
The tears upon my face
The wounded scars on my heart
All they see is the mask
The mask upon my face

This tears in my heart
Threatening to tear apart
Lonely in my world
No one sees it but me
All they see is a mask

No one sees the tears
Streaming down my face
No one sees the pain
Coming from deep within
All they see is a mask

All I had, i willingly gave to you
All of me, you had,
I know I said some hurtful words
I know I couldn’t make you stay
Pray, how can I make you come back?

I was ditched
When I needed you most
You walked away
In my times of trouble
When there was no one
To turn to in the world

I fought it hard
Hot sobs down my eyes
But guess I shouldn’t have
For you were not mine
To stay and be with
For a minute
You walked away
I knew I lost you
Only but for a time

Cloud of uncertainty hovers
Reality walks in
And I know you were not
That woman that was made for me
I shouldn’t have fought
To get you into loving me

No one sees the tears
Streaming down my face
No one sees the pain
Coming from deep within
All they see is a mask

You said it wasn’t all about love
I thought it was
How sad you made me know
A lil too late
When I’d given my all

Wish I could hide my pain
Hard as I try,
It keeps resonating
All the times we had
The unspoken words
The beauty of the time
All keeps coming back
Now, I have to walk alone
This cruel mortal earth

It’s a long road
Thorny, hard and long
I’m no longer afraid
Walking this road alone
All I thought meant everything
Turns out to be nothing
I’m no longer afraid
for i'm strong in my adversity
Carrying this cross alone

Sitting and staring
Watching life go by
Wishing in my dreams
For you to come back
Fighting hard to get over you
I realize it’s all been a nightmare
Never to come true


It’s been a while I got my thoughts together
its been a awful lot of time...time to reflect
Time to think and time to decipher
Its time to take an absolute hold on my person
and take the driver’s seat by charge
I have pondered long enough...
long enough to see the futility in life
I have wondered long enough
to see that it’s not all things that you hold onto
There are things in life that are so hard to let go
much as you’re going to feel the pain and feel the hurt
some things will always go

It’s a new season...A new season of me
to thrust into my future against every hold on me
there will always be opportunities in life
for the other guy to know you always meant well
however they don’t appreciate it right now
it will always run over someday
it’s been a long time coming.
I’m not fazed anymore
its time to recoil.
Recoil into that wonderful shell
cuz some things will always come and some will always go
its been a long time coming...


Buddy, you’re the wall between, fragmenting in bits
The one with the allure and sour freshness
With multiple faces and different twists
Coming with a double edged sword
piercing everything in its path with ur deft touches

Have you stopped short for a second,
to think about your awkward and ignoble role?
Spin the table around and tell me what you feel
No worries but have you thought about the bile you bring
in your wake? Along your path?

You laugh at me and I don’t know what to make of that
what lies behind those eyes and frame
Turn the mirror on yourself and tell me what picture you see
wear my shoes for you to know where it hurts
your conflicting words and double standards

Remember, someday when the kliegh lights are out
when the curtains are drawn and darkness beckons,
when the chips are down and reality crawls in,
that you can’t hold on too long playing this kind of ace
knowing too well that we all shall account someday
have fun while it lasts..


I really don’t know how to come across to you than my words and a piece of my heart. I want to let you know that I cherish you no matter what we may have been through.i may have acted in some ways overly more than I should, not because I want to but how I feel about you.

I remember how you came into my life...what you stood for and how many times I tell you how you mean to me and how much I want to live the rest of my life with you. It’s not about anything; it’s just about how I feel about you. You have been there in a lot of ways for me-truly I don’t know if I’m the one with the problem or maybe it’s something I can’t see. Can’t really gather my thoughts now but I swear to God, I have always loved you, I still love u and will always love u.when I say my heart out, it’s not to hurt your feelings because you know I never want to see you hurt, .it’s because I want the best for us out of the imperfect being that we are.

Every relationship has its stumbles...I have always been open to learning, understanding and appreciating more things about you. This wrangling isn’t about if I love you, it’s about loving you too much which is who I am. It’s easy for me to guard my heart but you swept me away with your love, your everythin.i have always appreciated you and always loved you-I cry because I don’t want to lose you-I cry because I don’t want to be hurt-I cry because of what I see around me from my past but which I don’t hold you accountable for.

In life we fight battles, I have my own flaws which I’m dealing with, hoping to be a better person everyday.i say it all the time that I’m not perfect. This isn’t the time for you to look away...we have only been together 6months...I want more...I want a home...I want a family with you, be happy together and be fulfilled.I swear I’m not a kill-joy...I love you from the depths of my heart is why sometimes I act crazy.

For all its worth, for all the times we shared together, for the things we hold dear in our lives, for every dreams you and I ever shared, don’t ever look the other a good man, and I want a good life with you-past is past and the present is where we are at now. Think about how we started, the love we share and all and if there's still a space there in your heart for me...I regret some things I should have said better or done better...I will always love you and want you to be there for me because even if I delete you from my page or my phone, I can never ever delete you from my heart or the picture of my future which revolves around you.
i love you.

P.S: One of my old posts


When a man is in love
He sees nothing
Believes nothing
Hears nothing
He is so consumed in himself
As wrongs makes right
And faults become common place
He sees things out of the ordinary
So ignorant and oblivious of the world around him
As he lives a caged life within a box
Until he’s left in shambles and left to …die….


I wish you could search the depths of my mind and soul
To see how my heart leaps in bounds just thinking about you
I wish you knew how much you brought smiles to my face
With your presence that could light up a room
You totally had me holed and consumed in your grip
Hounded and bounded on all fours
like a ram taken to slaughter
As my heart falls prey to your love…


You taught me to love
You taught me patience
You taught me to dream
You taught me how to win
You taught me to be wise
You taught me how to be strong

Months and weeks have since passed
and I’m wondering how you broke this wall
of a cage built around my heart for the unknown
You defied my fright and shattered my defenses
stealing me away from my lil shell and anxieties

Baby, I’m indebted to you for your love
for the flames of fire in your eyes,
the sensation that you bring
that keeps burning each time
my thoughts drifts to you...


Forgive me....
Forgive me friend if I hurt you
Look past my mistakes when I offend you
For am like the lil baby learning her first steps

Forgive me when I come across as too corky
I have never claimed to know it all
For the monkey only learns to jump by practicing

I may have faltered in my words
Unbecoming in my actions towards you
But that makes me human
Full of flaws and imperfections

I may have gone on like I don’t care
But I care about you buddy
I care about what you think of me
Cuz someday we’d be needing each other’s help

So tell me when I hurt you
So I can always seek your face
And our hearts can always be at peace
Knowing that we need one another
Like fingers of the same hands


Infatuation is our ruse

Clothed in the garb of true feelings

to satisfy an itch

That will never take on the shape of true love


As the world watches the euphoria of electing a black president to the white house, a first in the history of the United states, I couldn’t help but admire the courage and strength of the american people and its politics of hope over fear and division.Deservedly, this moment represents a defining moment in the lives of so many particularly what it represents to the African Americans who have had to endure discrimination and segregation based on the color of their skin.Selfless Americans fought hard for equal rights and justice.Several unsung heroes watered our ground with their bloods to see this day when whites and black will unanimously stand together and elect a man not based on color or race but by the strength of his character which Martin Luther King (jr) amplified through his lifetime and died for on the altar of freedom from oppresion.

Today, we see a man who rose from the valley to being the worlds’ number one.A man who rose from very humble beginings in life, who had to endure the severance and love of a father and came from the bottom of the ladder to rule the world.He fought the world ahead of him through the many challenges and triumped over race, color, creed and defeat to a steady rise in life through the many ranks of being elected the first African American president of the prestigious Harvard law school to being to a community organiser, a distinguised state and federal legislator

He could have been out on the field working on wall streets, chairing various boards and committees or heaping tons of money practising as a proffesional attorney but the love and service to makind he had within his loins wouldn’t let him.Through the windy and harsh weather, he had his sleeves roled up and onto the streets to help ordinary folks who had lost their jobs, their homes and indeed their future.He stood up for them, heard their cries, gave voice to the voiceless and hope to the hopeless when the world wasn’t watching this immaculate man.He rose above partisan politics knowing that the bond that streaks us together as a people goes far beyond what seperates us as we share a common destiny, a common goal, a common future.

Out on the streets, you could see the perplexity on people’s face.Tops on their mind is the worsening economy.Sitting around their kicthen tables moaning over their job losses, foreclosed houses and an income that’s bearly enough to pay the tuition of their kids after their house rents.In bars, coffee shops, offices, the story is the same.People have long lost their hope in government and their leaders until….At this defining moment in history, we’re reminded of how you taught us to believe that government isnt always the answer, that too often government is the problem to the solutions that we seek but that we needed to reach deep into our indivdual souls for that abiding strong faith that defines the american spirit.You reminded us of your unlikely story which momentarily spurred you into stardom and that each one of us can reach the same mountain tops through the many odds on our way with a fortitude that brings out the best in us.I doff my hat, President Obama.Your a man of grit, wisdom, intellect and even temperament.A unique source of inspiration to the many folks out there you taught to believe, who have lost hope in themselves and have been given to crime because of lack of supervision and a father that has taken flight due to the many challenges and fraustrations of day to day living.You have succesfully resuscitated the american dream in folks knowing that we can win if only we dared one more time irrespective of how many times we get knocked down.President Obama, I dare say that you have re-invigorated the beliefs of the american people throughout your campaign with our hard won trust, your uprightness and an uncanny ability to always speak the truth when faced with make-break situations which could unnerve any mean man.

The party is over now and in the minds of the so many hearts you have won around the world, lies a heavy responsibility which rest upon your shoulders to deliver the dreams of our founding fathers.People are waiting and anxiously too, to see this dream fulfilled.The dreams for which our heroes defied the assasins bullet to die for that we may be free and enjoy the fruits today.The dream is here now.. we saw it a long time coming.It’s here now.God bless America


Sleep Eternally

I'm still in total shock and disbelief.
My heart is broken and really sore
I'm still in utter disillusionment
How, why comes out so often from my words
Too many questions with little or no answers
Why would life be so cruel to steal a loved one

I'm here wishing this isn't true
That by some miracle, you will come to life
You fought hard in the face of tribulations
You waged a battle against death every day
You could have cheated on death again,
But you faulted and it had its last laugh

I don't know where to start, what to say
How can life be this cruel and callous
We shared so many things together
Looked out for each other every night
We were sources of comfort to each other
Shared our burdens and troubles together

Now, your there six feet below earth
Your clock suddenly stopped ticking
Leaving behind heavy mourners
who knew you, your good works
who thought life would always go on with you
But how sad, death decided to take you away

Pat, although your gone to rest
will always cherish all that we shared
All the times we sat hours on end
Gisting about nothing in particular
But just been there to while away time
and be comfort to each other

Your thoughts live on in the lives
Of all that knew you.
Your life was worthyAnd we're happy,
though short but meaningful
I pray for the repose of your soul
And that you find peace and a place to rest
In the bosom of our Lord Jesus Christ