Monday, July 26, 2010

Memoirs from the past!

It’s so hard when you love and lose someone you so desperately wanted to share a life with..Woke up with thoughts of you this morning...and this has been a recurrent thing for the past days, weeks and months..Don’t know what this portends as I try to search myself day in day out if I truly really do loved you while we were together.

I loved you like I never loved any. I protected you the best I could that it almost became an obsession for me. I just wanted us to be happy. I just wanted to give everything within me to you, to show you how much you were worth it all but guess I couldn’t cut it..Guess you were made to belong to another man till the gourd got broken and the chips never made a whole again.

From the depths of my heart, I still love you. No one would believe this cuz they would evidently think am nuts or going berserk but truth is I still love you and even though it’s been months we spoke or seen, you still live in my heart every day.
I’m most certain that someday, if we're meant to be together, you will get to read this and both of us will shed a tear together and if we still aren’t meant for each other, want you to always know that I truly cherished you. I admit I shoulda done things so differently but love is like life where we learn every day.

I have never claimed to know it all, all I have ever wanted was peace and love from my woman and that was all I strove for while we were together..

I still love you and I always will

My Torn Heart

Really I don’t know what’s come over me. I can’t tell what’s happening to me anymore. It just doesn’t seem to me like I know myself anymore. What is this happening to me..Why should I in heavens name be missing her? Why should I ever be here sitting, thinking and moaning over someone who I sold my heart out to but who paid me back with pain. Why in heavens should I be here sparing a thought for you...Why...what is going wrong with me Lord...or do I need to have my head examined cuz I can’t understand myself anymore or the reason for doing all this..Why oh why Lord..Lord please help me..

This cross is becoming too heavy, way more than I can handle..This is way killing me ..This is killing me to say the least..Why wouldn’t you just let this feeling go away..Why wouldn’t you just let me be and live my life on..She’s somewhere right now not giving a damn about what am thinking here and here I am moaning..Almost thinking about you every second of the day..Lord..What’s happening to me..Lord what’s happening to me...

Cliff hanger!

Life is like a roller coaster, one minute you are happy, and the other sad. Why do people always have to take me for granted thinking am like one switch you press on and off at will, thinking less about how I must feel when they launch their so called heartlessness..I’m sick and tired of it..Im sick of getting on in this game, sick of falling for women who don’t want me, sick of talking for so long and yet have nothing tangible come out of sick of impressing people, doing the best I can yet get nothing other than rejection most times. Why am I sad right now, why do I feel so dejected..What I thought would be just came crumbling..She promised she'd be my friend..Her words brought so much smile to my face but what did I get only few days after she swelled my heart..No i don’t wanna talk to you anymore or have anything to do with you..gurl ..What were you thinking before you got me on auto drive..What were you thinking when you let down your guards intentionally for me..Now my heart is in it and you tell me you don’t want me no more..What!..

Patches of Gloom

when you look in my eyes
what do you see
A face smiling
even as inside am crying
tried as much to conceal
my uncanny thoughts
the unsymphony
of a harpless cord
but hide i must
that no one sees
the hurt i nurse inside


you pulled the rug under my feet
and stripped the only garb
which protected me from harm
you threw caution to the ill wind
when you knew that it blew no good
You had in the open
for all to see my mockery

why should i forgive you
when i hear people scorn
every step i walk past them
you know the taste of bile
know how much it sucks
yet you chose to feed it to me
and now you go mad
when my own pound of flesh
threatens to tear you apart

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Be thankful for everyday you live..(True Life Story)..

She woke up this morning feeling so refreshed
Yesterday she felt so unwell and disillusioned
When asked why the sudden elation
She said I feel so great today,
I can move my hands and my feet aint draggin like yesterday
As if she had a premonition of things to come
All of a sudden whilst having her physical therapy
She slumped and passed out
Helter- skelter everyone ran
From first aid boxes to oxygen tanks
Eyes rolled up and oxygen circulation went from 96 to 89
Felt like forever waiting for 911
Wails echoing through the noisy background
She was resuscitated but could barely speak
Then her heart began to beat so fast
In leaps..
The evil one had come to steal
But she wouldn’t let go
Fighting for her last breath..fighting for life
In a whim, she looked around the entire room
As if to say thank you all
And say her last goodbyes
She made one last look and breathed her last
Our prayers couldn’t take her back

Mortal life..we come, we live and we end it all
A life was stolen in its prime
Leaving a trail of heavy mourners
And a family in utter shock and distress.