THE DILEMMA OF A FRIEND

Through trials and triumphs
I will stick with you Lord
My eyes have seen
My ears have heard
The dilemma of the unbeliever
Who runs from pillar to post
Seeking gods carved out of images
Offering adulation and sacrifices
To a god who has no eyes to see,
And ears to listen. Who has no arms
To save but asks for money instead.

This is the story of a friend
Who inspite of all admonitions
Refused to listen and take heed
But patronized gods who wanted more
They gave him black soaps
They gave him scented lotions
They gave him colored candles
Things worked good for him
And he felt on top of the world oblivious of the doom
Which awaited him. He made money. He was the toast
Of every party and all the beautiful ladies on the street
He was the favorite of the group but he forgot the old saying
That he who sups with the devil must have a long spoon
Catastrophe like an ill wind struck and before you could say jack…

All he had acquired over this period began to crumble
Everything he labored for began to take flight
And his world came crashing like a pack of cards
He lost everything. Lost his sanity. Lost his dignity
He lost everything because he wouldn’t listen
He became a shadow of his old self begging for alms
Friends took turns as they fled from him
Leaving him to pine away gradually. Friends he fed
All were gone. No one to share in his misery
In his time of trouble, his gods couldn’t save him
Let alone bring him back all his sudden loss
He lost everything because he served a dead god
Carved out of wood image, who couldn’t see
And had no saving hand like my sweet Jesus.

DIAMONDS

There are some things more important than money
More honorable and treasurable than the best of gold
As I continue to grow older, I realize that life means nothing
Without the people who sincerely care about you.
I realize that no matter how rich or poor you are in life
You cannot walk it alone except you have someone to hold
Someone to cheer you and encourage you. To raise you
And admonish you which altogether bring meaning to life

In my down times, the people I had with me
Were what kept me going strong everyday
I drew from their strengths when mines’ was failing
Their generous smiles was all I needed to be assured
That there will always be light at the end of the tunnel...

THROUGH THE STORMS

I thank you Lord
Thank you for the man you made me
Through the scare of the whirlwind,
Turbulent storms and raging fire
You have made me stand
Even though trails leave their scars
I’m not smitten because I have you
To stand with me through it all

BEHIND THAT MASK

No one sees the tears
Streaming down my face
No one sees the pain
Coming from deep within
All they see is a mask

Perhaps, they care
Perhaps they know
Perhaps they see
The hidden tears
That lies behind the mask

Behind that mask
Lies a feeling of hate and angst
Behind that mask,
Lies a gaping hole
Behind that mask,
Lies a real craving
Behind that mask
Lies a hurting heart
Crying out in pain
Needing for your love

No one sees the tears
The pain within my eyes
The tears upon my face
The wounded scars on my heart
All they see is the mask
The mask upon my face

This tears in my heart
Threatening to tear apart
Lonely in my world
No one sees it but me
All they see is a mask

No one sees the tears
Streaming down my face
No one sees the pain
Coming from deep within
All they see is a mask

All I had, i willingly gave to you
All of me, you had,
I know I said some hurtful words
I know I couldn’t make you stay
Pray, how can I make you come back?

I was ditched
When I needed you most
You walked away
In my times of trouble
When there was no one
To turn to in the world

I fought it hard
Hot sobs down my eyes
But guess I shouldn’t have
For you were not mine
To stay and be with
For a minute
You walked away
I knew I lost you
Only but for a time

Cloud of uncertainty hovers
Reality walks in
And I know you were not
That woman that was made for me
I shouldn’t have fought
To get you into loving me

No one sees the tears
Streaming down my face
No one sees the pain
Coming from deep within
All they see is a mask

You said it wasn’t all about love
I thought it was
How sad you made me know
A lil too late
When I’d given my all

Wish I could hide my pain
Hard as I try,
It keeps resonating
All the times we had
The unspoken words
The beauty of the time
All keeps coming back
Now, I have to walk alone
This cruel mortal earth

It’s a long road
Thorny, hard and long
I’m no longer afraid
Walking this road alone
All I thought meant everything
Turns out to be nothing
I’m no longer afraid
for i'm strong in my adversity
Carrying this cross alone

Sitting and staring
Watching life go by
Wishing in my dreams
For you to come back
Fighting hard to get over you
I realize it’s all been a nightmare
Never to come true

A NEW SEASON OF ME

It’s been a while I got my thoughts together
its been a awful lot of time...time to reflect
Time to think and time to decipher
Its time to take an absolute hold on my person
and take the driver’s seat by charge
I have pondered long enough...
long enough to see the futility in life
I have wondered long enough
to see that it’s not all things that you hold onto
There are things in life that are so hard to let go
much as you’re going to feel the pain and feel the hurt
some things will always go

It’s a new season...A new season of me
to thrust into my future against every hold on me
there will always be opportunities in life
for the other guy to know you always meant well
however they don’t appreciate it right now
it will always run over someday
it’s been a long time coming.
I’m not fazed anymore
its time to recoil.
Recoil into that wonderful shell
cuz some things will always come and some will always go
its been a long time coming...

A PIECE OF MY HEART TO YOU

Buddy, you’re the wall between, fragmenting in bits
The one with the allure and sour freshness
With multiple faces and different twists
Coming with a double edged sword
piercing everything in its path with ur deft touches

Have you stopped short for a second,
to think about your awkward and ignoble role?
Spin the table around and tell me what you feel
No worries but have you thought about the bile you bring
in your wake? Along your path?

You laugh at me and I don’t know what to make of that
what lies behind those eyes and frame
Turn the mirror on yourself and tell me what picture you see
wear my shoes for you to know where it hurts
your conflicting words and double standards

Remember, someday when the kliegh lights are out
when the curtains are drawn and darkness beckons,
when the chips are down and reality crawls in,
that you can’t hold on too long playing this kind of ace
knowing too well that we all shall account someday
have fun while it lasts..

A LETTER TO MY WIFE

I really don’t know how to come across to you than my words and a piece of my heart. I want to let you know that I cherish you no matter what we may have been through.i may have acted in some ways overly more than I should, not because I want to but how I feel about you.

I remember how you came into my life...what you stood for and how many times I tell you how you mean to me and how much I want to live the rest of my life with you. It’s not about anything; it’s just about how I feel about you. You have been there in a lot of ways for me-truly I don’t know if I’m the one with the problem or maybe it’s something I can’t see. Can’t really gather my thoughts now but I swear to God, I have always loved you, I still love u and will always love u.when I say my heart out, it’s not to hurt your feelings because you know I never want to see you hurt, .it’s because I want the best for us out of the imperfect being that we are.

Every relationship has its stumbles...I have always been open to learning, understanding and appreciating more things about you. This wrangling isn’t about if I love you, it’s about loving you too much which is who I am. It’s easy for me to guard my heart but you swept me away with your love, your everythin.i have always appreciated you and always loved you-I cry because I don’t want to lose you-I cry because I don’t want to be hurt-I cry because of what I see around me from my past but which I don’t hold you accountable for.

In life we fight battles, I have my own flaws which I’m dealing with, hoping to be a better person everyday.i say it all the time that I’m not perfect. This isn’t the time for you to look away...we have only been together 6months...I want more...I want a home...I want a family with you, be happy together and be fulfilled.I swear I’m not a kill-joy...I love you from the depths of my heart is why sometimes I act crazy.

For all its worth, for all the times we shared together, for the things we hold dear in our lives, for every dreams you and I ever shared, don’t ever look the other way.im a good man, and I want a good life with you-past is past and the present is where we are at now. Think about how we started, the love we share and all and if there's still a space there in your heart for me...I regret some things I should have said better or done better...I will always love you and want you to be there for me because even if I delete you from my page or my phone, I can never ever delete you from my heart or the picture of my future which revolves around you.
i love you.

P.S: One of my old posts